Friday, April 09, 2010
It's been more than a month since I've been here, and the last time I entered, I was determined to have this place stagnant forever. There are too many shameless revelations about this world that I just had to stop myself from exposing them further. Hideous truths should be banished to the forgotten places so that us humans can continue living our lies. But tonight I fail to challenge the grotesque thoughts that possess me now, thus finding myself falling victim once again to the insidious ways of the mind.
The carnal obsessions we so shamefully worship, arent they merely the manifestation of our greed? Our temporal desires - they are but cheap means of indulgence. What defines sensual love from vulgar, lascivious immorality? In our haste to discover the worldly possessions one may own from exploring bodily excitement, the deep-rooted attachment in which affection is thus developed from is compromised.
Ah, affection. It is taken for granted. And more often than not, it is abused. I really like this strong connection I feel with people sometimes, but that connection usually proves itself sinister. Because one is experienced, and one knows what to expect from a particular speech or behaviour to that person, hence one builds on that connection and performs to his advantage. And so that affection that is displayed - is it genuine then? Or when one is used to the gift of another person's affection, one tries too hard to command that affection (or love) and adopts an ambiguous behaviour or even tells untruths, in the hope that he will be pardoned, if he doesnt manage to escape punishment. One may claim to be merely protecting the interests of the other and hence, "in all due respect", feed pretense. Honestly, I'm not a fan of elusive people. And by feeding pretense, one becomes elusive. Puzzling maybe? But I'd think more of slippery, even shifty.
I could never fathom those people who do or say things for the sake of achieving that outcome. In my opinion, such things are odious. Especially when those words serve the sole purpose of deceit in pretense.
Tonight I think about what's true and what's untrue. Or maybe, something that is true in itself is already unimaginable, and has the most elusive existence ever.
It's a beautiful disguise.